You Better Believe I’m Writing About Fucking Football!

It happened. It finally happened. One of the most momentous upsets ever pulled in the history of the contest with enormous repercussions for the future. I sincerely thought that I might go throughout my entire life without ever seeing it happen. Yet here we are with someone new in the top spot.

What? Oh no, to hell with politics. Fuck the American presidential race; my amazement and jubilation are in reaction to my alma mater, John Carroll University, finally (FINALLY!) defeating our rival, the big, bad, purple machine that is Mount Union. The final regular season football game of each season always began with the irrational hope in the face of truly insurmountable athletic odds that can only exist in northeast Ohio, and ended with the result we all knew not even that deep down was going to occur the whole time.

But not this year. This year the Blue Streaks reign supreme in the Ohio Athletic Conference (OAC) and will host Olivet College this Saturday in the first round of the playoffs.

Now you may not be the most fervent fan of Division III college sports, and neither am I. I was not tremendously attentive of it all when I was actually attending John Carroll, but you know I had my eye on that final game. Year after year, John Carroll threw everything it had at the Barneys that are Mount Union to no avail. We had not beaten them in football since 1989 – the year I was fucking born. It’s been a while. It hasn’t happened often, either. JCU is now 3-31-2 all-time against Mount. Apparently the Blue Streaks only beat their most bitter rivals once in a super moon. Such makes the win so much sweeter!

It’s not like John Carroll has been a slouch in the OAC and Division III football, either. Despite having the terrible nickname of Purple Raiders, Mount Union has been a powerhouse unlike any other. They have made a habit of not only beating but destroying their opponents all the way to 12 total national championships, all since 1993, and all in a playoff format. Usually when you hear of teams with the longest winning streaks in college football the focus is placed on the Division I schools (currently called FBS for Football Bowl Subdivision) like the Oklahoma Sooners who won 47 in a row from 1953-1857, or my hometown Toledo Rockets who won 35 straight games from 1969-1971; however, Mount Union owns the longest consecutive win streak ever with 55 games from 2000-2003, which broke their own record of 54 straight games won from 1996-1999.

If that isn’t enough to paint a picture of how incredibly dominant Mount Union has been since the early 1990’s, then allow me to Jackson Pollack some more gallons of overwhelming wins on you. John Carroll’s big win over the Purple Raiders yesterday was not only big for the Blue Streaks (aren’t these D III names great?). It was the first time in over ten years that Mount Union lost outside of the playoffs (which doesn’t happen often either). They had won 112 consecutive games coming into last Saturday’s game, with the only loss coming in 2005 to the Ohio Northern Polar Bears. Before that loss, they won 110 straight regular season games, meaning that from 1994 until this past Saturday, they had a 222-1 record. Over the years, Mount Union has beaten so many teams, often and badly, that they keep a record of their dominion on their website. Yet this weekend John Carroll blew up the Death Star and scored a major win to topple the mighty Mount and punch a ticket to the playoffs, not to mention win their first OAC championship since 1994 when they shared it with two other teams (yep, one was Mount Union who beat JCU that year). This is the first outright OAC title for John Carroll since their last win over Mount in 1989.

My Blue Streaks got some national exposure on a wild weekend of college football that capped a wild week. ESPN featured this article on their front page, but for me the good ol’ JCU athletics page is the still the preferred (and more prompt) go-to for all my Blue Streak needs.

There is a chance the Blue Streaks and Purple Raiders could meet again in the D III National Championship as they are on opposite sides of the playoff bracket, but most likely Mount will rebound and face off against Wisconsin-Whitewater yet again for the title game. Then again, who knows? I never imagined the Indians and Cubs would play in the World Series against each other. For the time being though, I am overjoyed with the win that will go down in history as one of the greatest ever achieved for John Carroll, and one of the biggest upsets for any team at any level. It may seem strange to suggest the #18 ranked 8-1 team beating the #1 9-0 team as an upset for the ages, but given what you know now, you can understand how this #1 is so frequently lightyears beyond the reach of #2 and everyone else.

Whatever the future holds for JCU, I am ecstatic to have seen this happen while I lived and look forward to where the rising program goes from here. Go Streaks!

Thanks for reading. Come on back next week for more football fun as I commemorate the Game of the Century for its 10 year anniversary, just in time for Fuck Michigan week which the Hawkeyes seem to have gotten an early start on. As always, send your questions, comments, and suggestions to monotrememadness@gmail.com, and have yourself a terrific day!

First and ten, do it again, go Streaks, go!

Alex

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